The One Thing Holding You Back

I have a confession to make, before I talk about this book. Before yesterday, I never bought anything on eBay. I know it sounds strange . . . I love the Weird Al song about eBay, and I have listened to other people talk about their eBay experiences with a gleam in their eyes, but I just resisted it.  I don’t really know why . . .

Why was yesterday different?  Well, I want to sell something on eBay, and in order to do that, I really should buy something and get a rating or something like that.  So. I did it. In fact, before I knew it, I bought FOUR things.  For a few minutes, I thought it was only two items, but upon closer inspection of my account, it was definitely four.  And I’m bidding on something else. . .

So what does this have to do with the book?  Well, three things.  First, you can buy some books very inexpensively on eBay.  Second, you can sell them back if you want to. And third, it’s better not to resist things. You might unleash something powerful when you stop resisting (like an eBay binge . . . )

The One Thing Holding You Back by Raphael Cushnir (Harper Collins, 2008)  is about making progress towards your dreams.  Cushnir says that if you aren’t living your dreams, it’s because you need to find the emotions related to the dreams, and let yourself experience them.

When you stop resisting feeling an emotion that you’re trying to avoid, you make an emotional connection, and the results that you see will be profound.

Cushnir sees the resistance to emotions as “the one thing holding you back”.

We tend to protect ourselves from getting hurt, and in doing so, decrease our chances of reaching our dreams.  We don’t want to fail, so we don’t experience the feelings of failure, which means we can’t experience success.

I haven’t read far in the book yet, but my interpretation is that in order to win, you must be able to feel the emotions of losing.  There is no sweet without sour, no happy without being willing to experience sad.

Emotions tend to give us more information about ourselves that we would rather repress.  The image I get is of a child.  A child is more likely to admit to how they are feeling, because they haven’t learned how to hide things as well as adults.  As we grow, we tend to cover disappointments up, and become resigned or frustrated because we can’t make progress towards what we want. But we aren’t making progress, because we’re covering up.

I wouldn’t want to sit in a lot of miserable emotions, but I don’t think that’s what Cushnir is asking.  Maybe it’s more to do with being able to be human, to make mistakes, and to feel what you feel.  I’ll keep you posted if I’m on the right track . . .

I am not planning on buying any more books on eBay until I have read the ones I already have, but I am not resisting eBay — just in case you’re wondering.

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