I’m currently reading a book called The Wishing Year by Noelle Oxenhandler (Random House, 2009). Normally at this time of year I would have no time to read. My time would be taken up with studying books to plan new lessons and helping my kids transition back to school.
Four years ago, I went back to college to get the courses I needed for my teaching degree. I was also in the process of divorce. Three years ago I finished up my course work and was student teaching. Two years ago I got my first teaching job, and last year was my second year in the district.
Last spring our school was hit with drastic teacher cuts due to very low enrollment, as well as state/federal budget cuts directly affecting FTE’s. Two of the five people from my team were cut. Cuts were done on the basis of seniority, and I had only two years of teaching in. So I am back to subbing until a job opens up for me.
I’ve had my tearful days, because frankly, I HAVE to have a full time job to support myself and my kids. I know I’m a good teacher, and that I’ve done a great job in my first two years, so it just doesn’t seem fair. I’ve worried my fingernails to the quick wondering what I’m going to do.
Worrying isn’t working. The phase I’m in right now is that I have to hope, or wish for something to open up. Someone to get transferred, or get a better job, and pass the good karma on to me.
While it sounds backwards, and while it’s easy to get buried under worry and hard to feel anything positive, it’s when we move away from the negative and focus on the positive, even already “pretending” that we have something that we want, that things move into place for us.
In The Wishing Year, Noelle has a mentor named Carole, who seems to have wishing down to a science. Carole hasn’t had the easiest life either, but her positive, expectant attitude seems to attract things to her. The book starts in January and follows Noelle through the year. I’m only in the April chapter, but I already see how in Noelle’s life things are starting to move into place for her. I am adopting Carole as my mentor too. I’ll let you know what happens.